I'm a Big Girl Now

...or am I? As I clashed with my daughter this week, I realized she looks like an adult and usually sounds like an adult...but sometimes acts like a child. And she has a mom (me!), who looks like an adult and usually sounds like an adult...but sometimes acts like a child. And when both of us are in child-mode at the same time, it's not pretty.

We know where the hot buttons are, and we press them...and get our own buttons pressed, too. It's like sitting in a dunk tank. You know you're in there and you know you're going to get dunked, but you don't get out. You just watch that big red button get pressed and down you go into the water. Predictable, yet startling.

When do your hot buttons get pressed? Think of the following areas of your life and jot down people or situations that put you in a dunk tank:

• family
• work
• church
• volunteer organizations
• sports teams

Now look at that list and be honest. Is it possible you're doing some button-pushing of your own with people in those situations? Circle them.

It would be easy to say, "I'm a victim. I have no control over this situation. They make me respond this way. They don't like me. They make my life miserable." But the truth is you have a choice to get out of the dunk tank, just as you have a choice to stop pressing the dunk tank button.

But when full understanding comes, these partial things will become useless. When I was a child, I spoke and thought and reasoned as a child. But when I grew up, I put away childish things. Now we see things imperfectly as in a cloudy mirror, but then we will see everything with perfect clarity. All that I know now is partial and incomplete, but then I will know everything completely, just as God now knows me completely. - 1 Corinthians 13:10-12 (NLT)

JK

A fool’s laughter is quickly gone, like thorns crackling in a fire. This also is meaningless. - Ecclesiastes 7:6 (NLT)

How often do you say "just kidding" or text JK? And are you really JK? How often do we "excuse" what we say or do with that simple phrase?

We smile and laugh, but there's tension, and we're well aware of it. The other person might not be aware of our motivations, but we (hopefully) feel uncomfortable. Perhaps sometimes we feel vindicated instead. In reality, our comments are sarcastic...served with a twist of truth and topped off with humor. We purge what we need but have "JK" as our out, so even if the person suspects we're being mean, they can't really argue with us once we say "just kidding."

It's such a fine line. I enjoy laughing, but kidding around with someone can easily slip into making fun of someone. And we think we make it all better by saying "I was just kidding!" Is it that simple? Think about people you know whose feelings have been hurt and friendships have suffered because of "just kidding" moments. How much baggage is being carried around because of sarcastic (and hurtful) humor?

When do you rationalize sarcastic humor? Think about the situations you find yourself saying "just kidding."

• Are you usually working with groups of people? Serving or leading?


• Do you feel trapped and need to escape? Self-preservation?


• Is jealousy getting the best of you?


• Are you grasping for a way to tell someone something that's a little uncomfortable for you?

Be familiar with the situations and people you're most tempted to cross the line between appropriate humor and sarcastic humor. Know your temptations. And know your motivations. Stop rationalizing and consider how the other person might perceive and be affected by your comments. Even if you can "get away" with sarcastic humor, should you?

And is there anyone you need to humbly apologize to, someone you might have wounded with words recently? Do it today. NJK (not just kidding).

Everything in me will celebrate when you speak what is right. - Proverbs 23:16 (NLT)

Drink Driven

I repeatedly travel the same roads. The road to a nearby town, where I do just about everything except sleep. The road to the airport. The road to my favorite shopping area. And I have my favorite drink stops along the way.

Not Starbucks, which I generally reserve for airport days. I'm not a coffee drinker, but love strawberries and cream Fraps! No, I'm driven by fountain drinks...but I have requirements.

• Must be Diet Coke.


• Must have flavored syrup. Cherry is the best. Cherry and lime are the best combination. I can deal with vanilla.


• Must be in a styrofoam cup. I know, not environmentally-friendly, which isn't consistent for me, but I don't like the way other cups "sweat" in the Summer.


• Must be inexpensive. Okay, so I'll give a little on this one and pay extra for the flavoring if I have to.

I seriously have a problem. As an advocate for multi-tasking, I maximize my trips, planning the most efficient routes in my mind. But I almost always consider one of my favorite drink stops as a non-negotiable stop.

It used to drive my husband crazy that I was drink-driven. He thought stopping was a waste of time and money. Thankfully over the years, some of my annoying habits, including this one, have become endearing to him. He even encourages my habit and often surprises me with my favorites. (He prefers Pepsi products and vanilla flavoring.)

But I wonder...Am I drink-driven for Jesus?

Jesus replied, “Anyone who drinks this water will soon become thirsty again. But those who drink the water I give will never be thirsty again. It becomes a fresh, bubbling spring within them, giving them eternal life.” “Please, sir,” the woman said, “give me this water! Then I’ll never be thirsty again, and I won’t have to come here to get water.” - John 4:13-15 (NLT)

What about you? Will you go out of your way for Jesus? Do you plan your schedule with him in mind? Is spending time with him non-negotiable?

Perhaps being drink-driven is such a bad thing after all.

"No" Your Limits

I suppose I could have kept my eyes open a little longer. But I was sleepy, and the sun was so warm, and everything on my list of things to do could honestly wait. So I relinquished...and took a short nap. Ahhh...How refreshing!

Sometimes I push myself too hard, ignoring limits. And yet there are also times my limits are marked with a huge red flag. When I see the flag looming ahead, I stop.

According to http://www.merriam-webster.com/, a limit is definited as "something that bounds, restrains, or confines." What limits you? Create a list.

• When does fear limit you?
• What types of emotion limit you?
• How does money, location, transportation limit you?
• What relationships limit you?
• How does "baggage" limit you?

There are situations in which a limit is placed in our path as a warning to take another route, proceed with caution, or cease pursuing that direction altogether. But sometimes we use limits as an excuse to stop, pause, or retreat. And sometimes limits are a test of our perseverance.

I'm too self-sufficient sometimes. Okay, a lot of times. The fact is my limits aren't limits at all, because I know God, who has no limits. Jesus looked at them intently and said, "Humanly speaking, it is impossible. But not with God. Everything is possible with God." (Mark 10: 27, NLT) I'm only limited by my stubbornness to rely on my own strength, courage, and perseverance. And I get worn out and give up so quickly!

Take a look at your list of limits. Circle the items beyond God's limits. You can keep those things on your list of definite "no-can-do" limits. Cross off the items that are not beyond God's limits. My guess is, you'll be drawing a few lines on your paper!

Anyone who accepts his testimony can affirm that God is true. For he is sent by God. He speaks God’s words, for God gives him the Spirit without limit. The Father loves his Son and has put everything into his hands. - John 3:33-35 (NLT)

Pin-the-Tail

Esther continued to keep her family background and nationality a secret. She was still following Mordecai’s directions, just as she did when she lived in his home. - Esther 2:20 (NLT)


I sat at a high school graduation this weekend and looked at all the graduates, thinking of their different backgrounds. How each person is entering the world with different tools, experiences and perspectives. It's like a game of pin-the-tail-on-the-donkey.



For the last eighteen years of their lives, these kids have been preparing to take their first steps forward toward the purpose of their lives. Only some kids have been twisted so often and fast, they're still spinning as they enter the adult world. So much that they can't tell which direction they're headed. It'll take them years to get their bearings...if ever. A few are so focused, they've had their blindfolds off for awhile and have their eyes locked on the goal. Their arms are outstretched and they're deliberately taking their first steps into adulthood. Many kids are somewhere in between.



Think about how you entered the adult world. Were you spinning with no sense of direction, or were you focused? Did you stumble, or were you stable? What/Who helped prepare you? What would have prepared you more?



It's not a blame-game. We all carry baggage into our adult lives. The important thing is what we do with that baggage. Who we hurt with it and how we hurt ourselves with it. But we need to be honest with ourselves about how focused or unfocused we are. Otherwise, how are we going to be able to focus on the purpose God has for us? It's time to stop spinning out of control and look for that target. Reach out to it, so you can reach it!



I pondered the direction of my life,and I turned to follow your laws. - Psalm 119:59 (NLT)