Gaps

It was a joy to spend Thanksgiving with family. The entire weekend has been filled with blessings. It's been both productive and relaxing...an odd combination.

Thanksgiving included a trip to St. Louis to spend with family, including our oldest daughter Caitlin. It was nice to have my parents travel with us; perhaps it helped me not think of how odd it was that Caitlin wasn't riding home with us.

Consistent with tradition, we woke up early on Friday to brave the shopping crowds. Courtney and I had a great morning. We didn't need anything in particular but shopped leisurely, took turns standing in line, and thrilled at our bargains. Tim joined us for some shopping but also enjoyed long coffee breaks while reading.

Usually Caitlin is along for the annual shopping trek.

Saturday was a gorgeous day. I enjoyed a rare treat for this time of the year in central Illinois: a long outdoor walk without burdensome layers to keep me warm. I enjoyed the warm sunshine as I power walked country roads, listening to Mika on my mp3 player.

Caitlin regularly walked the same path listening to the same artist.

Later in the day, we unloaded all the Christmas decorations from storage. Up went the tree along with all the tree and house decorations.

Except Caitlin's ornaments. We're waiting for her to put them on the tree herself when she comes home in a few weeks.

This weekend has been productive and relaxing...and yet there have been a few gaps. Caitlin-sized gaps. I've compensated for a few...like getting Courtney's opinion on a few gifts for Caitlin while shopping. And I enjoyed putting together a fun care package to send Caitlin this week as she finalizes her first semester. (I wish I could be there when she opens it!)

I rarely experience loneliness from Caitlin being gone. After all, she's happy where she is, and that's the most soothing salve a mother can have. But I experience gaps in little daily things. As I felt gaps the past few days, I thought about friends in my life who have gaping chasms where my small gaps are. Friends whose children have died and friends who (not by choice) have no biological children. My achy gaps are nothing compared to their pain and emptiness. I can call, email, text Caitlin. I can drive a short distance and sit with her at Starbucks while chatting about her life. Some of my friends don't have that luxury.

And then there's the hole we're all born with...the one that is God-shaped. We're created to long for him. We can ignore the emptiness, fill it with hobbies, work, material things, and relationships. But no one but God can fill the God-shaped emptiness. Feeling lonely, anxious, fearful, etc.? We all experience gaps. Seek the one who can actually fill the gaps with what and whom they are supposed to be filled.

For we are God’s masterpiece. He has created us anew in Christ Jesus, so we can do the good things he planned for us long ago. - Ephesians 2:10 (NLT)

There might be gaps in my Christmas tree for a few more weeks, but I'm relying on God to fill any gaps in my faith.

A Clean House

How do you approach cleaning?

• I enjoy refreshment and a sense of accomplishment from it.
• I tolerate it as an unwelcome necessity of life.
• I loathe it and will make about any excuse to avoid it.

I cleaned today. Not because I expect company or because I had nothing better to do, but because the weekend is nearly here, which means several of us will be home for extended hours. To me, a clean house is a comfortable home. You might rationalize that if several of us will be home, it's better to wait until everyone returns to school and work, since the house will get more dirty with everyone in it. The same reasoning applies when making your bed in the morning when you'll get into it again at the end of the day.

As I was cleaning today, I realized...it's not the act of cleaning that thrills me. I only enjoy the process of cleaning because I anticipate the end result: a comfortable house in which I can relax because the dust bunnies aren't peering at me from under furniture. I'm refreshed in a house full of clean smells.

It's the same with spiritual growth. I'm not thrilled with the process. It's messy, inconvenient, and sometimes painful. But the result is a maturing relationship with Jesus. I won't enjoy the comfort of a close relationship without letting him cleanse my life. He gets rid of the accumulating dust bunnies. He sanitizes the toxic surfaces. He washes away the filth to refresh me.

Look around your house. What needs to be done to clean your house?

Cleaning will take time and effort.

Look at your heart. What needs to be done to clean it?

Cleaning will take time and effort. But Jesus will take care of it...if you'll let him.

Create in me a clean heart, O God.Renew a loyal spirit within me. - Psalm 51:10 (NLT)

Christmas Greetings

Thanksgiving week is different for me this year. I typically mail Christmas cards the day before Thanksgiving, so they're in mailboxes within a few days to kick off the Christmas season. Start the celebration! Share the joy! Many years I've hand made my cards, spending hours cutting, stamping, coloring, and assembling. I've enjoyed it. But as I was working on my cards last year, thinking about the people on my mailing list and the amount of money and time I was spending alone at my dining room table, I resolved to take a different approach in 2009.

This year I'm spending the time and money investing in individual relationships. Of course, I won't be able to connect with everyone on my list, but I'm letting God lead me to whom he wants me to contact. I'm inviting women to lunch over the next month, so I can spend one-on-one time, sharing my life and letting them share theirs. Giving us both an opportunity to connect face-to-face, a diminishing occasion with social networking and the pressures of everyday living.

My dining room table won't be as messy, but I know my calendar will be. I can't connect with as many people, but I can connect with a few on a deeper level. I'm not going to save time or money, but I'll invest in relationships. I might need to work out a little more to balance the extra calories, but I get an opportunity to be disciplined.

It's about perspective. What does God have planned for you in the coming month? I challenge you to take a fresh approach. Write down something you do this time of the year "just because." Or something that stresses you. Let God show you his perspective. He'll challenge you to tackle something head on...only with his help this year. Or he'll change the way you approach something, like letting go of Christmas cards and connecting in a different way.

Don't just talk about serving...do it. Don't just talk about connecting...do it. Don't just talk about sacrificing...do it. Step out of your comfort zone...and into God's.

The Lord says, “I will guide you along the best pathway for your life.I will advise you and watch over you." - Psalm 32:8 (NLT)

The Bridge

I didn’t understand many of the words. They were using technical video and sound language, and while I could guess the meanings of a few words based on context, some made no sense at all. It’s not that I needed to understand every word. I was okay with simply taking direction, but I wondered…how often do I speak in ways someone doesn’t understand?

When have you experienced a miscommunication? Why do you think miscommunications occur?

Communication isn’t about me…even when I’m the one talking. I don’t talk to hear myself. The words, inflections, facial expressions and body language are intended to communicate something with another person. If I don't consider how someone is going to understand my words, my communication isn’t effective. If I’m not communicating effectively, I’d rather not be communicating at all!

Imagine yourself standing on one side of a bridge. Someone is standing on the other side of the bridge. How far are you willing to go to meet her? Does it matter how well you know or like her?
I want to be willing to go the distance. We’re not going to be able to completely understand each other, just as we can’t stand in the exact same place on the bridge. We bring different relationships, experiences, and expectations to our communications. I want to get as close as I can. I want to see where the person is and then try to get there. I don’t want to get stuck in Me-Ville, settling on an attitude of “Why would I make extra effort when she isn’t? I’m not going to try again until she’s ready to listen to me. “I’ve done my job. It’s her turn.”

Jesus talked to people in a way they could understand. He told stories, met their needs, and walked with them. I want to be like Jesus...so others experience him through me.

Pay attention today. How are you crossing the bridge?

That is why I use these parables, for they look, but they don’t really see. They hear, but they don’t really listen or understand…The seed that fell on good soil represents those who truly hear and understand God’s word and produce a harvest of thirty, sixty, or even a hundred times as much as had been planted! – Matthew 13:13,23 (NLT)

Motives

I recently attended a large women's conference (me and over 8000 of my closest friends!), and I marveled at the variety of reasons women attended.

• "I love getaways with my girlfriends!"
• "I've been looking forward to this night away from my family for weeks. I need a little "recharge."
• "I'm most excited about serving. I want to encourage other women."
• "I came because my mom bought me a ticket."
• "I want to hear God's Word."
• "I wouldn't miss an opportunity to hear this speaker!"

What motivates you to attend a conference or other event? What about worship services, small group study, service day?

My motivations aren't always pure. There are Sunday mornings when I go to church because it's habit, not because I have an insatiable hunger to praise and worship God. Go ahead and judge me. I'll take my confession another step and admit I've probably judged you, too. I've thought, "Why would someone come to a women's conference just to see another woman, who humbly wants to reflect God, and hope...just hope...to get close." Yes, I've judged you.

Well, let me just say God puts me in my place. (Do I hear an Amen?) It would be great for our motives to be pure, so that anytime we're going to worship, learn, discuss, or serve, we're stepping forward with an intense desire to move closer to God. But our motives aren't always pure. As humans, our motives are rarely pure.

Praise God, he'll meet me just where I am. He knows my motives. He knows my baggage. He knows my hesitations, and he knows my passions. Not only does he meet me where I am, he actually uses exactly where I am to challenge and encourage me to most.

But that doesn’t matter. Whether their motives are false or genuine, the message about Christ is being preached either way, so I rejoice. And I will continue to rejoice. - Philippians 1:18 (NLT)

Your motives can't change who God is. Your attitude can't change who Jesus is. Your baggage can't change the truth of God's Word. God is God. He's going to move in your life...starting right where you are. I want to have the best motives possible, but I'm going to stand firm on the fact that whether my motives are false or genuine, I will rejoice in the message of Christ.

And as for my opinion of your motives...I stand convicted and corrected. Whether your motives are false or genuine isn't for me to decide. I'll rejoice in the message of Christ and pray the same for you!


...For I know that as you pray for me and the Spirit of Jesus Christ helps me, this will lead to my deliverance. - Philippians 1:19 (NLT)

Choices

I had an important decision to make Sunday morning. What to wear to church? I promise you I'm not a fussy woman when it comes to getting ready for church or anywhere else. Sure, I like to look nice, but I'm practical. What fits the occasion? What will be comfortable? What's appropriate for the weather? It doesn't take me long to get ready. I value efficiency.

Sunday was different. As I chose what to wear, I complicated the process. In a couple weeks, I'll be travelling for a full week, which means I need five outfits. For five consecutive days I need to have weather-appropriate, travel-friendly, professionally-attractive outfits. All chosen and packed ahead of time. And on Sunday morning, with forty minutes to get completely ready for church, two full weeks before I needed to pack for my trip, I became consumed with planning my 5-day wardrobe.

I stressed over the smallest details. I couldn't find my favorite brown pants. I wondered where a couple sweaters could be. Did I store them or give them to the community clothing store? To top it all off, I was having one of those mornings when I felt a little chubby. Not a good day to model outfits in front of the mirror!

As I stood between my bed, now covered in clothes, and my mirror, not reflecting the image I wanted to see, I suddenly realized...I had taken a simple decision and piled so many more decisions on top of it, I had little hope of getting anything at all accomplished.

Can you recall a time you've nearly paralyzed yourself with a question? Every option or answer turns you this way and that until you're twisted around, disoriented like a blindfolded child playing Pin-the-Tail-on-the-Donkey?

I looked in the mirror and pondered, "What on earth is all this fuss about? Seriously!" Reality struck me.

How often does God present me with a choice, a simple choice, but I begin to wonder...What if I choose this? What if I'm wrong? What if I didn't hear clearly? What if, what if, what if...until I have little hope of getting anything at all accomplished, paralyzed by self-concocted options.

I'm not suggesting all choices God gives us are simple, but I'm admitting I often complicate the choices he gives me. I'm fairly confident you do the same thing. Would you agree?

I urge you to keep today's choices in God's perspective. Keep the blindfold off, and don't let anyone, including yourself, twist you in dizzying circles.

Let those with discernment listen carefully. The paths of the Lord are true and right, and righteous people live by walking in them. - Hosea 14:9 (NLT)