Not Quite Goodbye

This was a my first blog home. My new blog is now designed and live. http://purepurposebook.wordpress.com/

It's like moving to a new home. Well, not exactly. I don't have to pack up boxes - or unpack them. But emotionally, saying goodbye to my first blog site is sad yet exciting. The new blog is exciting because it coincides with the release of my first Bible study for women, Pure Purpose, which has definitely been a God-journey. I'm still tweaking the new blog, adjusting colors, design and posts, just as I'd move furniture and accessorize a new home. But I'm leaving my boxes behind.

In other words, you'll still be able to access my blog archives here. I've linked this blog to my new blog, so new visitors can easily explore older posts. So if you're a new blog-follower, welcome - enjoy my early blogs! And if you've been following my blog for awhile...welcome back. I hope you'll follow my new blog, too.

And as always, I enjoy sharing thoughts, so leave a comment or personally connect with me any time :-)

Besides Still Waters

God is in the rushing - and still - waters.

I sat in the Viestenz-Smith park near Loveland, Colorado, on a narrow stretch of land between two waters. On one side was the rushing Big Thompson River. On the other, a calm pool. The water all came from the same source - travelling from high in the Rocky Mountains - but the experience was different.

Both were beautiful, one in its glassy serenity, the other in its rough fluidity. One showed little variety in color except the shadows from surrounding trees and faint outlines of deeply-bedded rocks. The other was peppered with colors, from the jutting rocks to the foaming water created by them. Many stones and pebbles shone from the river bed. The water glistened in hues of green and brown, reflecting the surrounding environment.

We often seek peace and serenity, but I noticed, even in its beauty, I couldn't see as deeply into the calm pool. The edges of the water were littered with vines and moss-covered rocks, and the rocks climbing the edges of land were soaking in algae.

The moving water was clearer. I saw no stagnancy. Rapids are powerful and more difficult to walk through, but the rapids swept away impurities and smoothed the jagged edges of rocks. Foaming waters indicate a change under the water - rocks or change in depth - and serve as a warning. Moving water is diverse, creating contrast between quickly and slowly flowing water.

Do you prefer calm or rushing waters in your life? Why?

I want to make a difference for Jesus. I want to ride the rapids, conquering challenges and fears in God's name. I want to fully rely on God so that my life reflects his power.

As I round the next bend down the mountainside, will I ask for peace and serenity...or boldness, presence and provision? What about you?

This was in accordance with the eternal purpose which He carried out in Christ Jesus our Lord, in whom we have boldness and confident access through faith in Him. Therefore I ask you not to lose heart at my tribulations on your behalf, for they are your glory. Ephesians 3:11-13 (NASB)

Rapid Ready

Once you’re in the rapids, it’s too late to plan. Planning occurs in smooth waters. We waste time in smooth waters. We relax in the sun and look around at the scenery. We need moments of relaxation, but God provides those times to rejuvenate us for what’s coming next. We need to be attentive. God knows what’s ahead. He doesn’t need the sound of the crushing water or the sight of the churning rapids. He knows beyond the limits of our hearing and sight. God uses moments in smooth waters to rejuvenate us, renewing energy and strength in us…so we’ll be prepared.

In life, we journey the river with others. Are we working with people in the smooth waters to prepare for rapids? Do you feel at a loss of what to do when in crisis? You enter the rapids, and your heart races. You try one thing. It doesn’t work. You try something else. It makes the situation worse. You’re in a raft with someone, both trying the best you can, but you’re not working together, which guides you straight into the most dangerous rapids, headed for the jagged rock or capsizing into hungry waters. You can’t hear each other screaming instructions. You can’t pry the oar out of your hands to gesture to each other. You can’t make eye content. Your focus is on the surrounding danger.

You somehow survive the rapids, soaked and exhausted. Now, you have a choice in how you use the next stretch of smooth waters.

Focus. Will you focus on what’s behind, blaming each other, or will you focus on what’s ahead? Reflecting on experiences can be helpful if your goal is to learn and move forward. When we get stuck in our trials, we’ll soon find ourselves in a similar situation. Refusing to reflect, learn, and move on results in unproductive repetition.

Focus on what’s ahead. You may not know exactly what’s coming, but you can make plans to work together, watch out for each other, and trust each other. Trust comes with experience. Spend time together in the smooth waters. Getting to know each other will give you insight into how the other responds to stress. Share yourself. Know each other’s strengths and weaknesses, so you can work together.

Instead, speaking the truth in love, we will in all things grow up into him who is the Head, that is, Christ. From him the whole body, joined and held together by every supporting ligament, grows and builds itself up in love, as each part does its work. – Ephesians 4:15-16

Heal. Trials leave us with sore muscles, raw emotions, and exhaustion. We’re bruised by getting knocked against rocks. We might need to paddle to the shore to bandage a cut or wrap a sprain. Admit your need for healing. God knows what you need to prepare you for the next trial, but you must approach him and fully rely on him. Spend time in his care. Ask him and then allow him to heal and comfort you.

Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves have received from God. – 2 Corinthians 1:3-4

Train. Condition your muscles. Work through soreness. Stretch. Work together, testing what works and what doesn’t. Turn your oars in different directions at different depths to become familiar with the tools you have. God will always provide tools and resources for you to use. He will help us use them effectively, but we must be willing to be instructed. We must listen and then try, so we’re sure we heard correctly and can apply what we heard. Then, we’ll need to listen and try again and again. Training is a process.

Everyone who competes in the games goes into strict training. They do it to get a crown that will not last; but we do it to get a crown that will last forever. Therefore I do not run like a man running aimlessly; I do not fight like a man beating the air. – 1 Corinthians 9:25-26

You approach another set of rapids, and your heart races. Will your time in the smooth waters affect your experience in these rapids?

Warm and Fuzzy

I saw an adorable sweater Easter morning. It was a cute, fuzzy bunny. It looked soft enough to touch. (But I respected the woman's personal bubble.)

Easter has become such a warm and fuzzy holiday. Soft pastel colors. Warm Spring welcome. Cuddly bunnies and chicks.

There's really nothing warm and fuzzy about Jesus. I suppose you could rationalize that because God loved us so much he sent Jesus to earth is warm and fuzzy...but God sent Jesus to die for us. And not just die...but die an excruciating, tortuous death. Sure, Jesus returned to life. But the power of his resurrection isn't warm and fuzzy either. Can power that defies death be warm and fuzzy?

What have we done with Easter? Let's get more specific. What have you done with the death and resurrection of Jesus? Have you replaced it with emotions and experiences easier to live with or more convenient to your schedule and your faith? How would you explain Easter to someone who has no idea what it's about? How would you explain your traditions and the reasons behind them?

Please don't consider for a moment that I'm writing this from a holier-than-thou perspective. I'm not suggesting Christians withdraw into cocoons and reject all celebrations that aren't focused on Jesus. I'm simply challenging you to let God invade your heart through Easter...and every day of the calendar. You can pick and choose when to acknowledge God's presence in your life, or you can acknowledge the reality that God is present...in every moment, during each holiday, throughout your entire life.

How are you acknowledging who Jesus is and the reality of God's presence? Not just to yourself, but to others? Not just when it's convenient to you, but consistently, constantly?

We know that we live in God and he lives in us, because he gave us his Spirit. We have seen and can testify that the Father sent his Son to be the Savior of the world. 1 John 4:13-14 (NCV)

My Trademark

Two of my childhood friends and I decided we each needed a trademark. Each time we'd write our names, we'd add our trademarks - on pen pal letters, artwork, and schoolwork. My trademark was a fuzzy caterpillar.

I could quickly scribble vertical lines and add two antennae to portray a caterpillar inching across the paper. As I scribbled my caterpillar, it came to life to me. As my trademark, it became part of my identity during a season of my life. Where my name was, a squiggly caterpillar followed.

Fast forward several decades. Serving at a girls' day camp, I needed a "camp name," something for girls to call me, a way for them to identify me. The choice was a no-brainer for me. Butterfly. Over the next several years, I was introduced to many young girls as Butterfly, and I still meet young women who only know me as Butterfly. It is my identity to them.

Throughout my life, I've "trademarked" myself many times through a variety of relationships and situations.

My most important trademark, the only one which is constant and sound, is the stamp of Christ-follower on my soul. I stand firm in my identity in Jesus. Every time you see me or my name, I want you to see God. I want to have an inseparable identity in God. God is God without me. I am not fully Susan without God, because he IS my identity. He created me, guides me, fulfills me. God is my trademark.

I'm thankful my childhood trademark was a fuzzy caterpillar - and I later chose the butterfly as part of my identity. As insignificant as a camp name or childhood symbol might seem, they've been meaningful reminders of God to me.

And we, who with unveiled faces all reflect the Lord's glory, are being transformed into his likeness with ever-increasing glory, which comes from the Lord, who is the Spirit. 2 Corinthians 3:18

Allow God to unveil you. How is unveiling connected to transformation?

How has God transformed you in the past week? Month? Year? Your lifetime?

Be unveiled. Be transformed. Give all glory to God.

But whenever anyone turns to the Lord, the veil is taken away. Now the Lord is the Spirit, and where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is freedom. 2 Corinthians 3:16-17

Inheritance

I've been studying inheritance - in a biblical context - and I've been thinking...

What have I inherited from the people who have gone before me?

Okay, so here's where I have a choice. I can list the woes, baggage, and wounds (and believe me when I say there are days I want to sit in the middle of the muck and make grand creations out of it), or I can pull up my feet, even if my shoes get left behind, and walk away on more solid ground on paths that take me somewhere.

As I walk onward and look around, here's what I see.

From my parents...unconditional love, confidence to dream big, and permission to be imperfect yet significant in my own parenting.

From friends through the years...ability to say goodbye, comfort of being cared for when I refused to care for myself, and assurance that rejection leads to opportunity.

From strangers and people of brief encounters...freedom to explore and grow and well-timed encouragement and assistance.

What have you inherited from others? What building blocks of yesterday are under your feet today? What tools do you carry around with you daily because they were generously shared with you?

Inheritance is more than what you have in your hands today. It's where you've been and where you're going. It's your territory. God-given. We live on earth, where humans mess up all the time, so our God-given territory is thorny, muddy, rocky. But it's also fruitful, fragrant, gorgeous.

We can choose to deny anything beautiful exists within the boundaries of our inheritance. We can choose to deny anything ugly exists within the boundaries of our inheritance. What we choose to believe about our inheritance doesn't change the reality.

We give an inheritance to others every day in how we invest in people with our actions and attitudes. Inheritance isn't about what we give after we die. Inheritance is now. Today.

What will you give to others today? What building blocks will you carefully place under someone's feet to encourage them on tomorrow's journey? What tools will you generously share with someone today so she has what she needs on her journey through the thorny, fruitful, muddy, fragrant, rocky, gorgeous territory that is her inheritance?

We have a priceless inheritance—an inheritance that is kept in heaven for you, pure and undefiled, beyond the reach of change and decay. 1 Peter 1:4 (NLT)

The Trainer and Trainee

I was asked to participate in a church discipleship program as a "trainer" (mentor). The ministry staff scheduled an informational meeting to give us an overview before we committed. I sat next to a woman who is a generation ahead of me and has been my "trainer" through many circumstances.

She's attended many small group studies I've led and enhanced discussions, clarified my explanations, and corrected my misinterpretations.

She's challenged me to grow spiritually, never allowing me to settle for the easy path but coaxing me down the path that leads me closer to God.

She's seen me at my worst: face-to-face in the pit of my sin, even in denial about it, tears of frustration, agony and desperation.

She's loved me...like Jesus.
She's accepted me...like Jesus.
She's challenged me...like Jesus.

And here I was, sitting by her side as we both considered training others.

I could have been intimidated, thinking I'm unworthy to train others as she trains me. I could have felt ill-equipped and fearful.

My reaction surprised me. I felt honored.

Honored that God would use me to reflect Jesus in the same ways this woman has reflected Jesus.

Honored this woman would not question my ability but instead sit by my side with an encouraging smile. She would never assume any responsibility for my spiritual growth, and her humility further reflects Jesus to me.

I encourage and equip women every day in my work and ministry. I pour into the lives of women, listening to their hurts and thrilling in their joys. I love the opportunities God gives me to disciple others.

But as I sat in the meeting, I was overwhelmed in the opportunity God gives me to be discipled. I am determined to glorify God in all relationships...whether I am discipling or being discipled.

Who are you discipling? Who is discipling you? Embrace the relationships God has given you.

God disciplines us to help us, so we can become holy as he is. We do not enjoy being disciplined. It is painful at the time, but later, after we have learned from it, we have peace, because we start living in the right way. - Hebrews 12:10b-11

Delayed

I was flying from St. Louis to San Diego through Chicago, connecting with a friend in Chicago for the second leg of the flight. I don't allow much extra time when arriving at my "home" airport in St. Louis but soon found I'd have plenty of time. I was delayed because of fog in Chicago.

I would have preferred to stay home with my daughter a few extra minutes, but I decided to make the best of it. I had a book to review, so I grabbed a Starbucks and settled in.

My phone buzzed. Lisa was delayed as well. Her turnaround time in Chicago would be quick, so she looked into a later flight to San Diego "just in case." When my flight continued to be delayed, she encouraged me to do the same. However, I was assured at the counter the plane I'd be taking from Chicago was also delayed, so we'd "definitely arrive in time."

As we approached Chicago, I heard my departure gate information. Great news. I'd have at least 30 minutes to transition to the next terminal considering the time the gate agent estimated as our updated departure time. No problem. Then we were delayed as we were pulling into our gate. It wasn't ready, but I was excited to hear our arrival gate matched my departure gate. I'd have time to get something to eat.

I got off the plane and looked at the board to check the departure time. La Guardia? That's not San Diego! I rushed to a departure screen, hoping I wouldn't have to go far, but my flight wasn't listed. Assuming my original flight had already left, I checked the next flight the San Diego and headed to the gate. Another delay. But time to eat.

My phone buzzed. Lisa made it onto our original flight and wanted to know if I was on board. What? That meant she was still on the ground! I looked at another departure board..."FINAL BOARDING"! After a moment of directional confusion, I ran to my gate, and the airline agent closed the door behind me. Whew!

How do you handle delays?

Do you focus on the end result in anticipation for the end of the delay?

Can you rest in the delay? Be productive in the delay? Grow through the delay?

Do you become complacent in the delay?

When has God worked in a delay of your life, and how will you allow him to work in future delays?

I wait for the Lord to help me, and I trust his word. - Psalm 130:5

Everything God made is waiting with excitement for God to show his children's glory completely. - Romans 8:19

Power of Peace

I looked at my husband and said, "It doesn't get much better than this." We were lying in reclining chairs on the beach, soaking up the warmth of the sun while it was cold at home. Holding hands, listening to the waves lap against the shore, refreshing fruit drinks beside us. I alternated between catching up on reading and listening to inspirational teachings on my mp3 player. Ahh.....

Walking along the beach is one of the most relaxing things in the world for me. I love to feel the sand between my toes, feel the breeze from the water, and listen to the soothing sounds of the water. I watch water swell as it approaches land and then rise into a wave, curling onto itself to creep or crash upon the sand. The entire experience is mesmerizing to me. It calms me. And yet...

There's nothing calm about the waves. Water is powerful. It crushes shells into pieces. Eventually something we'd pick up as a souvenir becomes an indistinguishable part of the sand. Waves eat away at the shoreline, tear apart rocks, and knock down people. We watched a small sea turtle struggle as he to fought the incoming waves to return to the calmer waters further from shore. Water will take you somewhere you don't want to go. It's relentless.

Calming yet powerful.

In our most peaceful times, God is powerful. He encourages, rejuvenates, and prepares us. Respite in him is full-filling.

When you retreat for a time of peace, do you draw within yourself, assuming the peace you encounter is based on your own ability and the rejuvenation you feel comes from a deep well within yourself? Do you consider your abilities and well limited? Do you have a relationship with God and rely on his refreshment to prepare you for what's next in your life?

God is calming yet powerful. In the midst of our most peaceful moments and season, God is powerfully working in our lives. He's relentless. He encourages, rejuvenates, and prepares us. Are you in a peaceful time of life? Rest in his strength. Do you feel battered by the waves? Trust that peace is awaits as you crash upon the shore.

I pray that the God who gives hope will fill you with much joy and peace while you trust in him. Then your hope will overflow by the power of the Holy Spirit. - Romans 15:13 (NCV)

Confrontation

How we approach confrontation impacts our relationships.

“If your fellow believer sins against you, go and tell him in private what he did wrong. If he listens to you, you have helped that person to be your brother or sister again. But if he refuses to listen, go to him again and take one or two other people with you. Every case may be proved by two or three witnesses. If he refuses to listen to them, tell the church. If he refuses to listen to the church, then treat him like a person who does not believe in God or like a tax collector. I tell you the truth, the things you don't allow on earth will be the things God does not allow. And the things you allow on earth will be the things that God allows. Also, I tell you that if two of you on earth agree about something and pray for it, it will be done for you by my Father in heaven. This is true because if two or three people come together in my name, I am there with them.” - Matthew 18:15-20 (NCV)

These verses give us instructions on how to deal with believers who have sinned against us, but I believe it’s an excellent model to use with any confrontation. Let’s take a look more closely. What is the first step?

Hhmm. I don’t see anything in there about going to other people and sharing what happened and stirring up irritation among many to make yourself feel better, which we often do under the guise of “godly counsel.” Please don’t misunderstand me. I completely support getting godly counsel, but godly counsel is…counsel that is godly, which means it has pure motives. Godly advice is private, not secretive. Godly advice is truth-seeking, not affirmation-seeking. Godly advice results in being held accountable for godly behavior, not being supported for what “feels good” or “makes sense.”

Back to Matthew 18:15-20, which says we’re to go and tell him in private what he did wrong. We’re not to ambush someone. We’re not to publicly declare the offense, which means we can’t gossip about it either. We’re to meet with the person one-on-one and share the problem. In this case, it’s an offense, but if you consider this model for any confrontational situation, you might be pointing out a miscommunication, hurt feelings, unfulfilled commitment, etc. You need to be clear but also not expect the issue to be resolved immediately. The other person might not be aware of the issue. They can’t read your mind…and you can’t read theirs and assume they knew exactly what was happening and why you’re approaching them.

Here’s a general rule I use. Have you stewed about this for weeks, months, or years? It’s not the person’s fault you’ve waited that long. If you’ve had the benefit of processing an issue for some time, give the other person at least that same amount of time to process what you bring to them. It’s not their fault you’ve stewed about for an extended period of time. You’ve likely damaged yourself in the process and will potentially damage the other person with the way you bring the issue to them, because with that much “simmering,” it’s very difficult to approach someone with a pure motive of making peace. I’m not saying that you shouldn’t sometimes pause before confronting someone, but a brief pause to insure you’re in God’s will and an extended time to become bitter are two very different things.

If that approach doesn’t work, what’s our next step?

"Witnesses” are not your best friends who are going to side with you and gang up on the person you’re confronting. They are people who will be able to support the situation and bear witness to what is said and done in case further action needs to be taken. When asking someone to be a witness for you, choose godly counsel. When you’re chosen to be a witness, accept your role with wisdom and humility.

Please keep the remainder of these verses in the specific context in which they’re intended: confrontation of a fellow believer who has sinned. Avoid making a hasty generalization that if your friend doesn’t “come clean” and admit to all wrongdoing in your relationship that you need to banish her from your life. If the relationship is unhealthy, you certainly need to put some distance between you and her, and you may have to temporarily place some distance between the two of you for a season because of the hurt or betrayal. But our goal is always to reconcile relationships when possible. And that takes honesty, humility and forgiveness.

These verses are followed by two more very important verses to consider when confronting someone: Then Peter came to Jesus and asked, “Lord, when my fellow believer sins against me, how many times must I forgive him? Should I forgive him as many as seven times?” Jesus answered, “I tell you, you must forgive him more than seven times. You must forgive him even if he wrongs you seventy times seven.” Matthew 18: 21-22

Brevity of Life

Teach us to realize the brevity of life, so that we may grow in wisdom. – Psalm 90:12

My life has been rocked more than once by news of a sudden death. My friend’s young daughter killed in an auto accident. A recent high school graduate family member who died in an amusement park accident. More than one friend and family killed by drunk drivers. We get the news and nearly stop breathing. Our lives are on hold as we mourn. And we recognize the brevity of life…briefly.

I wonder if it’s because we don’t fully understand the brevity of life as God intends. Brevity of life shocks us; we talk about lives cut short, potential unrealized, and dreams unfulfilled. We appreciate life, but do we realize the brevity of life? The purpose of realizing the brevity of life, according to Moses, the author of Psalm 90, is wisdom. When we gain wisdom, we grow in our knowledge of God:

I pray for you constantly, asking God, the glorious Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, to give you spiritual wisdom and insight so that you might grow in your knowledge of God. – Ephesians 1:16-17

When we seek understanding, are we seeking understanding of our situation, or are we seeking understanding of God? The difference might appear subtle.

If you had to choose, would you rather…
…know how many days are left in your life, or know the purpose in each day of your life?
…know the details of all remaining employment (and unemployment) situations, or be assured all your needs will be met?
…know how to resolve a conflict with a family member or friend, or be assured of your family member or friend’s eternal life?

God's wisdom and knowledge isn’t the same as human wisdom and knowledge. No human wisdom or understanding or plan can stand against the Lord. – Proverbs 21:30. God wants us to realize the brevity of life because we grow in (God’s) wisdom. When we grow in God’s wisdom, we grow in our understanding of His character. When we know God’s character, we can differentiate between our earthly understanding and His plan and purpose for us.

Realizing the brevity of life isn’t about walking through a tragedy. It’s about drawing closer to God, acknowledging Him as the source of all life, knowledge and wisdom. May your day be filled with discernment between His wisdom and understanding and your own wisdom and understanding. May you seek the heart of God so intensely you grow to know God’s heart more than you own. Pursue Him. He’s already pursuing you.

But to those called by God to salvation, both Jews and Gentiles, Christ is the power of God and the wisdom of God. God has united you with Christ Jesus. For our benefit God made him to be wisdom itself. Christ made us right with God; he made us pure and holy, and he freed us from sin. – 1 Corinthians 1:24, 30

Stick To It

Consider a time you felt stuck. What words describe your experience?

Now consider a time you "stuck" to something. What words describe your experience?

There's quite a difference between being stuck and sticking to something. Even when we stick to something, we can get stuck in stubbornness or stick to perseverance.

We also have joy with our troubles, because we know that these troubles produce patience. And patience produces character, and character produces hope. And this hope will never disappoint us, because God has poured out his love to fill our hearts. He gave us his love through the Holy Spirit, whom God has given to us. - Romans 5:3-5 (NCV)

What we need to stick to is not a place or situation. We should stick to perseverance itself. Perseverance produces character, and character produces hope. The situation in these verses involves troubles. Our perseverance isn’t about sticking to the situation causing our troubles. Our perseverance focuses on what will take a through our troubles and other situations. We stick to perseverance because it’s perseverance which leads to hope, which according to the Bible, doesn’t disappoint us because of who God is!

Of course, we don’t know how long our troubles will last. Perhaps a brief time, perhaps a lifetime. But when we stick our feet into the sinking sand of our troubles, we’re definitely not going anywhere. When we set our sights on perseverance, we develop character and the hope. And hope carries us through our trials as we grow in our relationship with God. We cannot mature without perseverance. Ouch! So, if we’re not persevering, we’re not growing; we’re staying childish. God has a plan and purpose for each of us, but we can only fulfill that purpose if we're growing, which means persevering through troubles and struggles! If we refuse to grow up, we can’t begin to accomplish what God has planned for us.

You can sit in the middle of our troubles, look ahead and painfully wonder what it would be like if your life was different. Or, you can look ahead with hope and then move your feet, one step at a time, according to God’s direction and timing.

When you’re taking one step at a time according to his will, you’ll often find yourself in a different place, closer to God, and can glance back and celebrate the triumphs of persevering through trials!

What's Love Got to Do with It?

Love. We think we know what love is. Even if we think love has confused, hurt, and abandoned us, we still seek it. Why? We seek it because we’re created to seek it. We seek it even when we’ve been confused, hurt, and abandoned, because we confuse human love with God’s love. Human love is limited, so we’re going to be confused, hurt, and abandoned. It’s not love that has done these things to us; it’s people. And God is God, not “people.” We need to differentiate between flawed human love and completed God’s love.

Under the age of 10, what was your perspective of love? How would you have defined love or known someone loved you?
What about when you were high school and/or college-age?
Now?
How do you expect your perception and definition of love will change in the next stage of your life?

God is love. 1 John 4:8 (NCV)

As we specifically consider “God is love,” let’s discover what love is, helping us to understand the character of God. Love is aptly strewn throughout God’s Word, but perhaps the most commonly referred to verses are found in 1 Corinthians 13.

Love is patient and kind. Love is not jealous, it does not brag, and it is not proud. Love is not rude, is not selfish, and does not get upset with others. Love does not count up wrongs that have been done. Love takes no pleasure in evil but rejoices over the truth. Love patiently accepts all things. It always trusts, always hopes, and always endures. Love never ends. There are gifts of prophecy, but they will be ended. There are gifts of speaking in different languages, but those gifts will stop. There is the gift of knowledge, but it will come to an end. 1 Corinthians 13: 4-8 (NCV)

If God is love (and he is), he is all these things:

Patient
Kind
Not jealous
Not boastful
Not proud
Not rude
Not demanding of own way
Not irritable
Keeps no record of wrongs
Does not rejoice in injustice
Rejoices when truth wins
Never gives up
Never loses faith
Always hopeful
Endures through every circumstance
Lasts forever

Reflect on these qualities of God. Make a note of any quality you sometimes struggle to believe. (Please recognize the Bible also says God is jealous. Without going into an in depth word study, consider jealous is used with slightly different meanings in different contexts.)

Let me assure you struggling is okay. Struggling comes from tension, and while tension left unattended can become destructive, tension leading to a progressive struggle produces growth. I encourage you to refuse to struggle on your own. You’ve considered the qualities of God’s love you struggle with the most so you can ask him to show you these qualities in real and personal ways.

God loved the world so much that he gave his one and only Son so that whoever believes in him may not be lost, but have eternal life. God did not send his Son into the world to judge the world guilty, but to save the world through him. John 3:16-17 (NCV)

God’s love is active. Because he loved the world, he gave us Jesus, his one and only Son, to live on earth and to die an excruciating, humiliating death. Giving is an action. Love is an action. God’s love doesn’t take the easy path. He has the best conclusion in mind, but the path to that conclusion is often not easy. Don’t you think if there was ever a situation in which God would have found an easier path, he would have spared his own Son an excruciating and humiliating death? But God knew Jesus’ death was not the end result, and the benefit of your eternal life was worth the pain of the path. Next time you think you’re in an excruciating or humiliating situation, consider Jesus. God’s love is active, and he instructs us to love one another. That means our love should be active, too.

Stumbling through Prayer

Clomp. Clomp. Clomp. I was trying to focus on prayer during church, but all I could hear was the thud of heavy walking. I was sitting in the balcony, and the floor shook. I'll admit it. I opened my eyes and looked up to see the culprit. I thought only a 250-pound man could make such a ruckus. Ha! It was a young girl with bulky-soled books. And she was wandering across the balcony with her head held high and no regard to anyone around her. How rude!

As is often the case, God asked me a subtle question in the moment of my judgment. "Can you not focus on me while there are distractions?"

I started thinking about my daily life, and how I sometimes have my arms so full, I can barely see where I'm walking. Have you ever tripped while carrying groceries into the house or a stack of books up school stairs? What about when carrying boxes when moving or reorganizing? When the focus is on what's in your hands instead of where you're going, you can get yourself in trouble. Like when I reached for the door handle while carrying pizzas and firmly grabbed the bee sitting on the handle!

God meets us where we are, whether we're carrying an armload of baggage and personal responsibilities or not. But our focus will be impaired. We have to focus on adjusting the weight we're carrying or peering around our loads to make our next steps. We won't be fully attentive until we set down our burdens and clear our paths to seeing and hearing God.

Distractions aren't always out of our control, like the girl clomping across the balcony. Distractions are often in our own hands. What distractions will you set aside?

Because he is our God and we are the people he takes care of, the sheep that he tends. Today listen to what he says. - Psalm 95:7 (NCV)

Thrive and Survive: Multi-Tasking

Have you read the recent research that multi-tasking is bad for you*? Apparently, people who grow accustomed to moving quickly from one task to another are easily distracted by irrelevant information, less productive, and less successful on tests. Really! I’m offended. Who are the multi-taskers in disguise who are skewing these results? I work from home, and not only do I work a 40+ week, I fit in family, volunteer work, regular exercise, housecleaning, laundry, grocery shopping, cooking…must I continue?

Okay, let’s be fair. We all handle multi-tasking a little different. It’s overwhelming to some while others feed off the thrill. Sorry if I sound a bit harsh. Perhaps it’s more helpful to assume a middle-of-the-road approach. I’ll admit multi-tasking can not only slow you down in some situations; it can be downright dangerous, like texting while driving, or at least cause major energy depletions. So here are Thrive and Survive tips for multi-tasking:

Thrive – The “DO’s” of multi-tasking.
1. Set priorities.
Lists are great, but they can also be overwhelming. Be realistic when you create your “to-do” lists. If you make a weekly list but notice a pattern of needing to carry over more than a couple items into the following week, or you feel overwhelming pressure at the end of the week to complete your list, set smaller goals. Continue to create a weekly list but also break it down into daily lists, or early week, late week, and weekend lists.

If you’re not used to lists, allow yourself some wiggle room in the beginning. It will take awhile to get familiar with how many things you can realistically accomplish. Be realistic with time frames. Slightly pad your times, so if something takes longer than expected, you have a forgiving schedule. Watch for patterns. If you notice you consistently feel too much pressure, don’t get your list done, or ignore your list altogether, you need to re-assess.

And remember, you’re lists are supposed to help you, not control your life. It’s okay to put things on your lists such as “do something special with my daughter” or “call and listen to my best friend.” Yes, you might feel guilty putting people on the same list as grocery shopping and cleaning, but the note on your list might be just the motivation you need to set aside your daily tasks and share your life with the people who mean the most to you.

It’s not important who does the planting, or who does the watering. What’s important is that God makes the seed grow. – 1 Corinthians 3:7 (NLT)

2. Schedule rest.
Multi-tasking isn’t just about accomplishing tangible tasks. It’s about balance. Rest is part of the balance. Without sufficient rest, you will be less healthy and less effective. Your relationships and work will suffer. You need to be recharged. Schedule time to crawl up in God’s lap and take a nap. Take time to be rejuvenated by studying his Word. Listen to his guidance and comfort when you pray.

But Jesus often withdrew to the wilderness for prayer. – Luke 5:16

3. Be flexible and realistic.
You won’t finish what you don’t start, so get started. You won’t finish anything if you start too many things, so finish something. Know you’ll speed through some tasks, and others will take time. Some can be done on the go, where it’s noisy, and some require silence and isolation. Procrastinating has consequences. So does having some things done well ahead of schedule. Know your strengths and weaknesses. Challenge yourself, and forgive yourself. Expect growth, and allow for setbacks.

If you reject discipline, you only harm yourself; but if you listen to correction, you grow in understanding. – Proverbs 15:32

Survive – The “DON’Ts” of multi-tasking.
1. Don’t exceed your limits.
We all have limits. Multi-tasking can be addictive. It’s the thrill of completing one more project, answering one more email, tweeting one more time. You’re only given so much time in each day, month, and lifetime. Spend it wisely. If you’re (1) obedient to what God wants you to do, and (2) using time wisely, God will provide every second you need. He’s not bound by the confines of time. He’s the ultimate time-management expert, and he’ll manage the time he gives you if you’ll let him.

Yet God has made everything beautiful for its own time. He has planted eternity in the human heart, but even so, people cannot see the whole scope of God’s work from beginning to end. – Ecclesiastes 3:11

2. Don’t say “yes” to everything.
Efficient people tend to get asked to do a lot, because they appear to be able to handle a lot. Say “yes” to the things God prompts you to do. Say “no” when you have no prompt (or God is saying “no”!). “Who else will do it if I don’t?” and “Surely it won’t take much time.” are not adequate reasons for taking on another responsibility. “God wants me to do it” is your prompt for a “yes.” And it’s not just about your personal obedience to God. If you say “yes” when you’re supposed to say “no,” you’re taking the place of someone who is supposed to serve in that role! Only you can be you, and you can’t be anyone else.

But those who obey God’s word truly show how completely they love him. That is how we know we are living in him. – 1 John 2:5

3. Don’t try to duplicate someone else’s system.
It’s great to learn from other people. There’s not need to recreate the wheel. Yet at the same time, you’re unique. Your gifts, responsibilities, skills, and relationships require customized organization. Try something you read or see is working for someone else, but if it doesn’t work for you, move on to another approach.

So I run with purpose in every step. I am not just shadowboxing. – 1 Corinthians 9:26

Choose your tasks well. God has a pure purpose for you. Give your complete attention to these matters. Throw yourself into your tasks so that everyone will see your progress. – 1 Timothy 4:15

(If you run into the multi-taskers in disguise who are giving the rest of us a bad name, please share this article with them!)

Originally published in A Woman Inspired November 2009

*http://www.cnn.com/2009/HEALTH/08/25/multitasking.harmful/index.html

It's Not True

I sat in a church and listened to a sermon that made my soul cringe. By stretching my imagination, I vaguely understood the basis on which the speaker built his message...but it wasn't biblical. There were pieces of Scripture scattered through the message, but the message wasn't built on Scripture. There's a huge difference. We can teach and live by our own standards and find isolated verses to support us. Or we can teach and live on a firm foundation of God's standards.

I looked around the room. In addition to my own family visiting for the day, there were hundreds of people, some who might be cringing along with me but some who were soaking all words spoken as absolute truth. After all, this is a man of God. He leads the church. His teaching is pure, right?

The only pure teaching is God's Word. That's not to say we shouldn't listen to other teachers. God gifts people to teach us, helping clarify and emphasize God's Word, creating connections among verses and into our daily lives. But we must acknowledge teachers are human. When I facilitate small groups, I prepare with dependence on God. I attempt to set myself aside and let God guide my preparations and then speak through me in words and actions. Yet I still get in the way. I bring my experiences, relationships, and baggage with me. God often uses all of that to help me live out His Word and reflect him, but I often allow all of it to get in the way.

God gifts people to teach us, but he also gives us discernment. Discernment is not only intended to use when we're living everyday life, choosing between right and wrong. We need to take discernment into the church walls and choose what's biblical and unbiblical about what's being taught, verbally and nonverbally, within the church. When we read a book, even with the word "Christian" in the description, we need to discern. Don't accept something because it "sounds" Christian. Accept it because it's consistent with God's Word.

Consider your weekly routine of teachings, entertainment, reading, or anything that you absorb. How active are you in the learning process? Where do you need to actively discern?

What is the ratio of time you spend directly in God's Word in comparison to other teachings?

O Lord, listen to my cry; give me the discerning mind you promised. - Psalm 119:169 (NLT)

You're Such a Child!

Did you celebrate "Eat Crackers and Try to Whistle Day"? (Who comes up with these celebrations?!) How long has it been since you ate crackers and tried to whistle, sat on a balloon until it popped, or buried yourself in a pile of leaves? What other silly things did you do as a child?

Did you lie in the grass and imagine a story among the clouds?

Spin around until you stumbled to the ground in dizziness?

Stand in front of the mirror and make funny faces?

What goofy thing did you thoroughly enjoy as a child but are much too mature to try now? Or perhaps you've been a grownup for so long that you can hardly remember any moments of silliness.

As children, we throw ourselves into things wholeheartedly. Growing up on a farm in Illinois, I was mesmerized watching corn be devoured by the combine and poured into wagons. I loved to roll in the snow. When we lost electricity in an ice storm, I played jacks by flashlight. I usually surrendered to whatever I was doing with complete commitment.

There's something about the complete commitment of children. A child will throw her arms around your neck and "squeeze the stuffing out." She laughs from her core. Her face intensely reflects her emotion...sad, mad, or happy.

Jesus said, “Let the children come to me. Don’t stop them! For the Kingdom of Heaven belongs to those who are like these children.” (Matthew 19:14, NLT) And yet Paul says in 1 Corinthians 13:11, "When I was a child, I spoke and thought and reasoned as a child. But when I grew up, I put away childish things."

When we become adults, we put away our childish ways. But we need to remain childlike in our faith. We set aside temper tantrums, pouting and self-centeredness (or at least try to set them aside), but we keep our complete surrounder to the enjoyment of simply pleasures.

God wants you to take your faith seriously, but he also wants you to enjoy his creation and your relationship with him. Being grown up doesn't mean knowing everything. It means knowing you don't know everything and knowing God does. Being childlike doesn't mean excusing immaturity. It means having enough faith to completely abandon your self to God.

So...Lie in the grass and imagine a story among the clouds.

God created the clouds and your creativity.

Spin around until you stumble to the ground in dizziness.

God knows just where you are when the world seems to be spinning.

Stand in front of the mirror and make funny faces.

God made your face and gave you expressions.

O Father, Lord of heaven and earth, thank you for hiding these things from those who think themselves wise and clever, and for revealing them to the childlike. Yes, Father, it pleased you to do it this way. - Luke 10:21

Are You Listening?

Imagine a world without headphones. Everyone's vast variety of music colliding into chaos. In some places, music would be banned. After all, we can't have everyone blaring music in libraries, coffee shops, bookstores. Headphones allow us to listen to our favorite speakers, musicians, and movies. We enjoy our favorites without imposing on other people. We shield ourselves from being invaded by other people.

What do we miss in the process?

I was recently talking to a friend without realizing she was wearing headphones. She heard nothing that I said. I wondered...how often is God talking to me when I'm wearing headphones? What am I missing? It's not that he's not talking. I'm not listening. I'm clueless he's talking, because I'm absorbed by something else.

I'm consumed with my to-do list. My problems. My needs. My wants.

What are you absorbed by today?

Is there an area of your life God seems to be silent? How do you know when God, in his silence, is urging you to wait and trust...and when he seems silent but is actually speaking?

Ask yourself: Am I wearing headphones? Am I consumed with my own wants, needs, problems, to-do list that I can't hear God speaking to me?

God is only silent in purpose. And his silence is limited. God speaks to us in a myriad of ways, but we have to be listening. We must hone a keen awareness. Watch. Search. Listen. Study. Speak.

Unplug. Take away the distractions. Headphones may help us be sensitive to those around us, but they hinder our relationship with God. You'll have to choose. Your preferences and your world or God's. Which will you choose today?

To those who listen to my teaching, more understanding will be given, and they will have an abundance of knowledge. But for those who are not listening, even what little understanding they have will be taken away from them. - Matthew 13:12 (NLT)

Best Year Yet

This is the best year yet! was a popular post on Facebook and Twitter for the first ten minutes of 2010. Why? Because nothing bad had happened yet. Can we only have a "good year" (or month or week or day) if it's trouble-free? Is our vision so handicapped that we correlate "the best" with a lack of problems or struggles? How spoiled are we?!

Therefore, since we have been made right in God’s sight by faith, we have peace with God because of what Jesus Christ our Lord has done for us. Because of our faith, Christ has brought us into this place of undeserved privilege where we now stand, and we confidently and joyfully look forward to sharing God’s glory. We can rejoice, too, when we run into problems and trials, for we know that they help us develop endurance. And endurance develops strength of character, and character strengthens our confident hope of salvation. And this hope will not lead to disappointment. For we know how dearly God loves us, because he has given us the Holy Spirit to fill our hearts with his love. – Romans 5:1-5

The Holy Spirit gives us everything we need. You have access to God’s love, courage, strength, joy, discernment (and the list goes on…) inside you, accessible at all times. So why do you think we still want to sit beside the road, bury our head in our hands and quit when we encounter struggles? Perhaps...

...Even when we know God provides all we need through him, we try to rely on our own strength and courage instead of tapping into his.
...We wait to tap into his strength and courage only when we’re completely exhausted. We try to hand him the baton, expecting him to run the rest of the way for us, not with us.
...We rely on the Holy Spirit to guide, equip, and encourage us so infrequently that we’re not sure how to listen and rely on him.

...We’re human. I don’t want this to become a crutch we rely on, but we have to admit, we’re going to struggle with our past baggage, current struggles, and future apprehensions. The key is whether we try to manage it all or rely on God to equip us to persevere and endure.

When we have problems and trials, we can develop endurance. (We can also sit and mope and whine and become self-focused.) Endurance develops character. Character develops our hope in salvation. And yet it's our hope in salvation, our relationship with Jesus, our acceptance and understanding of God’s character, that helps us deal with our problems and trials in the first place.

You'll have problems and trials this year, my friend. I guarantee it. Be determined in how you'll respond. It could be the best year yet!