Am I Worthy?

I looked at the bread and juice and pondered...am I worthy? This is my weekly opportunity to check my relationship with God. Of course, I should keep my relationship in check much more frequently, but I sometimes (okay, often) skim over my examination of myself.

Back to my question. Am I worthy?

Well...no. But I'm not worthless either.

What do you consider to be your weaknesses?

Your strengths?

I often get the two mixed up. I'm weak in the way that I question my worth. And what I think is a strength, like rationalizing through my faith journey or trying to be self-sufficient, is weakness. Who am I to decide what is my strength or weaknesses?

Out of my weakness

And into Your strength

Humbly I come to the cross.

The lyrics sink into my marrow.

I am strongest in my humility. I am strongest when I rest completely in Jesus. When I acknowledge my weakness. For a recovering control freak, that's tough to accept.

As I ponder Am I worthy?, I realize I'm thinking of my worthiness as a wife, mom, daughter, employee, volunteer. Those relationships and roles, while important, don't define my worth. They reflect the worth I have in Jesus. When I humbly rely on him in my weakness, for his strength, I am worthy in all areas of my life, because I am reflecting him.

I find my worth in Jesus.

So we keep on praying for you, asking our God to enable you to live a life worthy of his call. May he give you the power to accomplish all the good things your faith prompts you to do. - 2 Thessalonians 1:11 (NLT)

Worth Saving

My daughter was responsible for watering plants for one of my friends while the family was on vacation. Halfway through the week, Caitlin came home talking about a sick kitten near the barn. She was thin and weak, and her eyes were swollen. I looked Caitlin in the eyes and said, "No. You can't bring her home."

I grew up on a farm, and I cared for many animals, both pets and animals who weren't supposed to be pets but became my best buds. I don't have a steel heart, but...I tried to explain how some animals just don't make it and that we can't go to extremes to take care of every single animal and...my daughter wasn't buying it.

When have you felt a sacrifice was too much? You couldn't listen to that person's woes one more minute. You didn't have time to get help for the person stranded by the road. You didn't have enough to share.

The next morning I was getting ready to leave the house for a meeting, and Caitlin came home from watering. With the kitten. As she started to explain, I looked into her eyes and caught a glimpse of her heart. The kitten was worth saving.

If you refuse to take up your cross and follow me, you are not worthy of being mine. If you cling to your life, you will lose it; but if you give up your life for me, you will find it. - Matthew 10:38-39 (NLT).

After a trip to the vet's office and frequent trips to give her medicine, the kitten began to recuperate. She was still weak when our friends returned, but when Caitlin delivered the medicine to them, the kitten was receiving extra doses of pampering.

Some would argue that animals are different than people, and we don't have the same obligation to care and provide for them. That's perhaps another blog post. What struck me the most was my assumption of worthiness. What about you?

What is too much for you? Who is unreachable or unworthy of your efforts?

I am unworthy of Jesus...and yet he died on the cross for me. I'm thankful he doesn't extend the same judgment I often do. I hope he continues to change my perspective.

Are you allowing him to change you?

Above all, you must live as citizens of heaven, conducting yourselves in a manner worthy of the Good News about Christ. Then, whether I come and see you again or only hear about you, I will know that you are standing together with one spirit and one purpose, fighting together for the faith, which is the Good News. - Philippians 1:27 (NLT)