The Biggest Pumpkin

On the way to the pumpkin patch today, my 15-year-old daughter shared her memories of searching for pumpkins when she was little. What she remembers the most is not being able to pick out a large pumpkin. I don't remember her sharing discontent at the time, but apparently she didn't like my pumpkin-picking rule: You must choose a pumpkin you can carry.

I let my mom fuss alongside Courtney for a few minutes about my "silly" rule before I decided to explain myself. You see, in my opinion, it's never too early to learn we have limits to what we can carry on our own...and we need to recognize our limits.

I doubt I thought through my rule much at the time, but as I meandered through the pumpkin patch this afternoon, I started thinking....

(1) We live in such a me-centered society, and we're taught from an early age that we should be independent. We're supposed to look out for ourselves, because "no one else will." Asking for help is often seen as a weakness.

That's what our culture says, but life here on earth is skewed: So those who are last now will be first then, and those who are first will be last. - Matthew 20:16

We need to know when to ask for help...from God, family, friends, neighbors, or sometimes even a stranger.

(2) Limits help us. Boundaries give us safety in our freedom and establish expectations.

We will not boast about things done outside our area of authority. We will boast only about what has happened within the boundaries of the work God has given us, which includes our working with you. - 2 Corinthians 10:13

(3) God wants to help us. He'll challenge us to grow through our experiences and relationships. He'll always share our burden when we rely on him, but he gives us the choice to share our burdens or stress ourselves. And as we rely on him, our strength and faith grows.

For my yoke is easy to bear, and the burden I give you is light. - Matthew 11:30

Courtney chose her pumpkin (after trying to lift the biggest one she found), based on the same rule I had over a decade ago. Her muscles were stronger...and she got some extra help: a wagon!

The Burden of Chocolate

We can rejoice, too, when we run into problems and trials, for we know that they help us develop endurance. And endurance develops strength of character, and character strengthens our confident hope of salvation. And this hope will not lead to disappointment. For we know how dearly God loves us, because he has given us the Holy Spirit to fill our hearts with his love. - Romans 5:3-5 (NLT)

Share this experience with a group of women to learn about burdens and perseverance in a practical way.

Ask each woman to place graham crackers on a plate in front of her. Each graham cracker square represents an area of responsibility in her life (mother, wife, employee, supervisor, ministry leader, volunteer, board member). Or areas may be situational such as health, finances, or travel. Women then use the icing to write a letter or create a symbol to represent each area the graham crackers represent. For “mother,” a simple “M” will do, or those women who are a bit more creative might design a smiley face with hair standing on end and eyes closed in exhaustion.

Next, women place chocolate chips on each cracker to indicate the burden associated with each area of their lives. So, an area which has little burden has only one or two chocolate chips on it, and an area that has overwhelming burden might be overflowing with chocolate chips!

Remind women: This might seem like a yummy treat when we look at one or two of our crackers, especially when we think we have the best ratio of cracker, icing and chocolate! But what if you had to eat everything you have in front of you all in one sitting?

If you’re in a larger group, break into groups of four or five to discuss these questions:
Q: What surprised you as you were sitting up your crackers?
Q: What areas do you feel the most weight/burden and why?
Q: When was the last time you felt an added burden? A release of a burden?
Q: How do you typically cope with pressures of everyday life?Q: How is this experience like coping with the everyday responsibilities and situations in your life?

Dear brothers and sisters, when troubles come your way, consider it an opportunity for great joy. For you know that when your faith is tested, your endurance has a chance to grow. So let it grow, for when your endurance is fully developed, you will be perfect and complete, needing nothing. If you need wisdom, ask our generous God, and he will give it to you. He will not rebuke you for asking. But when you ask him, be sure that your faith is in God alone. Do not waver, for a person with divided loyalty is as unsettled as a wave of the sea that is blown and tossed by the wind. - James 1:2-6 (NLT)